Night Revelations
by carolinapalacio
Summary: Lily, having recently discovered her attraction towards James, stumbles across Severus Snape. A conversation that leaves Lily with more certanies than before.


Lily walked around in the dark corridors. It was long past curfew, and the castle had fallen into a deep silence. As Head Girl, Lily knew better than to go wandering in the middle of the night. But she had always had troubles with some of the rules Hogwarts imposed.

It hadn't been a particularly tough day, classes had only started a month ago, and everyone was still getting used to being back. There was something occupying her mind, though. One James Potter. It was almost as if she couldn't stop thinking about him. They had become friends over the course of last year, and she had realized in the summer, there more than friendly feeling going on. She fancied him. Of course, it was a hard admission to make, as she also had to admit to the strange attraction that always seemed to be there.

She had seen him three times after her big epiphany, but had decided to act as if nothing had changed. They had lunch with the marauders on one occasion, and she had done an excellent job, but had spent the whole day feeling paranoid, worried Sirius had noticed something was off with her. She and Mary took him to a muggle cinema a few days later, and although she hadn't worry about it, Mary realized something was different, and she had ended up confessing everything to her.

The last time she saw him, though, had been the hardest one. His aunt birthday was coming up, and James had asked her for help in picking up a gift. They had spent the whole afternoon together, and even though James hadn't seemed to notice, Lily was sure she had made a fool of herself. Laughing a little too much at his lame jokes, or staring at him while he wasn't looking. She wasn't used to behaving that way.

Truth was, Lily was used to blokes liking her. They would shower her with compliments, and all she had to do was decided whether she wanted to go out with them or not. And what was worse, was she knew James had liked her at some point in time. But ever since they had become friends, real friends, his feeling for her seemed not to be there anymore.

With the start of the new school year, she had decided she was going to be honest with James, and told him how she felt. Of course, she then had seen him at the train station, and decided maybe she was just going to subtly indicated to him how her feelings had changed. And she was doing a pretty good job, she'd been flirting with him, suggesting different activities she enjoyed doing while in company of a special friend, she had even turned down a date with Robert Blunt, the most handsome boy in their year, in front of him. But he reminded clueless. She had thought of the most direct approach, just asking him out. But for all her Gryffindor bravery, she was scared he might turn her down.

Still consumed in her thoughts, Lily didn't notice the person now standing in front of her until he spoke. "Lily."

Her head shot up, and Lily met the dark eyes of Severus Snape. "Severus." She felt uncomfortable for a moment, and then she added "You shouldn't be here, it's past curfew."

"You shouldn't either, you're not in patrol duty."

"Well, maybe we should just pretend we didn't see ech other. No harm done." It hurted her, being cold to him. Severus had meant so much to her, he was his friend, the person she could count on when everything seemed to be going bad. And now, she didn't recognize him anymore. He was not the boy she had once met, he was a man, a dangerous man, who had hurt her deeply. Unconsciously, she touched her wand through the fabric of her jacket.

The gesture didn't go unnoticed by Severus. "Are you really scared I'll hurt you? You know I could never." For a moment, his voice sounded like the old him.

"You had already." With that Lily turned around to go.

"I can't believe you felt for his charm too. I expected better from you, Lily."

She knew who he was talking about, James. It was always about James.

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course I know. You couldn't resist his hero's ways, couldn't you? The big Quidditch hero, the one everyone loves, now Head Boy too."

Lily felt she didn't need to defend James, and part of her believed Severus was only attacking him so she would stay. But that didn't stopped the anger form boiling inside of her.

"It's all about what he has, and what people think he is."

Lily tried to remain calm. "You really don't know what you're talking about. You don't know him."

"Of course I do, he's a little rich boy, a prat, but it makes you feel important, doesn't he Lily? He makes you feel like you mean anything, like your worth it. Why else would you waste so much time with him? He's nothing and you know it. You are better than that Lily. Why do you stick with him?"

"Because I love him!" The words were out of Lily's mouth before she even had time to process what she was saying. Whatever it was Severus was trying to get out of her, this was not it.

Silence felt between them, and Lily's mind seemed to be racing. She fancied James, that she knew. Beyond any physical aspect, she was sure. And she was in love with him. She loved how nervous he got before a Quidditch match, even if he pretended not to, she loved how clever he was, and how not everyone could get his jokes, she loved his half smile when he talked to her, the way he would always try to protect her, no matter how much she insisted she didn't need it, she loved how she could talk with him about everything, the way he could never find his glasses in the morning, she loved spending time with him, doing whatever, she was so in love with him, that she felt overwhelm by the feeling.

She looked at Severus, who was more pale than usual. She felt bad, it was not her intention to hurt him. But he had been fishing for it, hadn't he? That's was tonight had been about. He needed confirmation, from her own mouth, that something was happening between her and James.

"I can't believe into what you have become."

The words cut right to the haze surrounding her, and she felt any feeling of guilt slipping away. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to find out this way. But I'm not the one who's changed, you are. You choose you way. And when school is over, we're going to have to choose again. And I'm going to stand by what I believe in, and by the people I love. And if that means, having to have you as my enemy, well, so be it."

Lily felt strong, looking at Severus right in the eye. No doubt in her mind, no doubt in her heart.

Steps behind Lily broke the tension in the air. "Is everything okay?" He was always good at interrupting when you least expected him, James was.

"Everything's perfect. Severus was just leaving." Lily's tone was cold, and Severus, with one last glance, decided to do as he was told.

"What was all that about?"

Lily sighed. "Just a conversation."

"Oh, aren't you smart?" James told her in a teasing manner. Lily felt the shadow of a smile appearing in her face, and started slowly walking towards the Gryffindor common room. James followed her, hands in his pockets. She knew he would not ask any further. They reached the entrance to the common room, and Lily stopped.

"Nothing happened, really. We just had a minor discussion. But, I'm fine, so everything is fine." Lily doubted for a second before asking "Did you saw us in the map? Is that why you showed up?"

James smiled. "Yes. I just wanted to make sure everything was good."

She felt the sudden need to him, she even took a step towards him. But it didn't feel like the right time. Instead, she smiled. "Thank you for looking out for me. Not that I needed it."

James grinned at her and gave the Fat Lady the password. They went inside the common room, and James smiled at her on last time before disappearing to the boy's room. Lily was left alone, with her thoughts. How many more revelation was she going to have about James Potter? Her heart was clearer than ever. Everything made sense. She knew what she had to do. And she was done wasting time. Tomorrow, everything was going to change for her and James. And she couldn't wait for it.


End file.
